Elise: Where does this desire to open up the couple come from?
Christian: A couple is a constant rebalancing. They can be between two worlds, between two perceptions and opinions. In a throuple, there is no more face to face, one of the three can act as a moderator.Being in a throuple can enhance an existing dynamic: and give greater access to different types of emotions, intimacy, care, and joy. Moreover, the intimate relationships will be balanced since they are shared between the three partners. The energy is always in balance. When the throuple is mixed, it is interesting to see how the energy is distributed differently between them. It is also interesting to explore whether sexual chemistry and attraction develops between all of the partners. Throuples are generally experiencing romantic feelings, but sexual feelings are not guaranteed. Because at first sight they do not necessarily have a mutual sexual attraction. It is also important to identify the different expectations and intentions of each other to achieve a harmonious relationship. There is a sharing of roles and needs, so the risks of having to perform or satisfy the needs of the other are reduced.
Elise: What is good to know before starting a relationship?
Christian: In a throuple it can be easy to feel sidelined. So in order not to lose their primary partner or lose the dynamic of the throuple, the partner who feels left out will agree to maintain an open relationship under these conditions. In fact, in a throuple and even more so in a couple, communication is primordial so that everyone feels good and confident.
Another point is how to present yourself as a throuple in society. In a society where differences are not always well accepted, it is not easy to integrate the habits of everyday life. One could easily end up on the sofa when booking a hotel, for example. Then there is the gaze of others, of the family, which must be constantly confronted. This passage also involves communication, which is intended to be benevolent and educational.
The question of family life can also be raised. In a mixed throuple without children who want to create a family, the question will be which partner will have a child with which partner. Does the woman have a child with each man, or does the man have a child with each woman? Or do the same two partners procreate? In a mixed throuple with children, the questions are often the same as for a traditional couple. In all cases, the throuple often brings harmony, both in the educational and organisational aspects, again through its moderating aspect.
It is also interesting to question the nature of our desire for the throuple. Is it the object of a fantasy or of a real value and philosophy of life? When it is the object of a fantasy, it can be much more difficult to manage in the long term, since it is in a way idealised. The experience remains, in any case, very positive, especially for men who abolish this spirit of conquest, of “ravishing” the woman in the literal and figurative sense. Their attitude tends to change towards women in general.