Elise: What are the recommendations for practicing slow sex?
Christian: We can say that there are 5 recommendations for a good practice of slow sex.
First, avoid being in the mind: whether it’s through mental images, planning on how to reach orgasm, or how to satisfy our pleasure or that of our partner. It’s all about being in the moment.
Secondly, it may seem paradoxical, but it is important to be self-centred. That is to say, to listen to our feelings, our needs and our most subtle sensory perceptions. Each person must focus on their own well-being before focusing on that of their partner.
Then, be attentive to the feeling that this contact gives us. This feeling is on two levels. On the level of the touch we receive and on the level of the touch we exert on the other. Do not be attentive to the effects that it produces in the other, but to the sensations that you capture in yourself. It is in fact asking ourselves: what information am I receiving when I give or receive this touch?
Finally, we can never repeat it enough, it is above all not having a goal to reach. Thus, the orgasmic trance lasts much longer. One should almost not want to make love in the first place. So seduction and pleasure are built and maintained, like a fire that you build in the middle of winter, from small dry branches and leaves that you try to keep warm. Because when we really want (the other person), the fire is already burning within us and it doesn’t take much for it to explode and then go out.
Elise: in concrete terms, what are the benefits of slow sex?
Christian: As we explained earlier, slow sex allows you to enter a state of orgasmic trance. The sensations and internal chemistry that come from it work together to help us feel more relaxed, like a stress reliever. There is a feeling of fullness during and after intercourse. Partners also feel more aligned and connected. While traditional orgasm tends to reduce our energy and increase our fatigue, slow sex instead allows us to feel more energy, physical comfort and dynamism. In the long term and in a qualitative way, slow sex improves the quality of sleep, mental concentration and eliminates certain depressive states. Indeed, we have found that it disinhibits our creativity and initiative (through the exploration of bodies and sensations) and thus increases our optimism and joie de vivre. In addition, the strengthened connection with a partner can lead to a more stable mood and improved self-confidence.